I should've typed and posted this last night when we got off the plane:
These are things I feel I need to tell you about but I don't believe they are things I can be poetic about.
I've been trying to write this for awhile now. Being 40,000 feet up in the air with nearly 4 hours of spare time, I figure now would be a good time to conjoin my thoughts. Last Saturday, our first full day in New Orleans, we visited the lower ninth ward and saw many parts of the city. Probably to your amazement, we saw much demolition and debris still left from the storm. This is not a poem. We had the opportunity to see and go inside a small, very typical New Orleans style shotgun house. When I say typical not only do I mean in the sense of the architectural layout of the house, but also in the sense that like many other homes in New Orleans, this house was completely destroyed and ripped apart by Katrina. We walked around inside the gutted house, trying to get the slightest idea of what it might have been like to live in this house. This not a poem. You won't know the troubles I've seen unless you've seen them yourselves, likewise, I will never know the troubles these people have experienced because I was not there to experience it.
I keep looking down at all the blank space on this sheet of paper and then out the window of the plane at skyscrapers that appear to be half the size of my fingernail from up here. At the paper and out the window. Over and over again I repeat this and I am still unsure of what it is exactly that I am trying to convey to you.
While in the abandoned house we came across a notebook lying on the dusty floor. The notebook contained love letters addressed to Dylan from Monique. The love letters were discussing how she had been and what she had been up to and classes she was taking. In one of them she explained how this was not the only letter she had written to him and not sent. I obviously don't know much about Dylan nor Monique except form whatever I read in the letters, but it got me wondering: would she have ended up sending them?
Down here at cemeteries, caskets and tombstones are both above ground so that if a storm were to hit again we wouldn't be seeing any caskets coming up from the ground and dead bodies floating down the streets like they've seen before. Mr. Kane was telling us how in some parts of the city if we were to dig down a few feet we would still find parts to washing machines and pieces of appliances from washed out homes.
These are things I feel I need to tell you about but I don't believe they are things that I can be poetic about. Because there's nothing beautiful about never sent love letters. There's nothing beautiful about abandoned destroyed houses. There's nothing beautiful about spray painted x's on the front paneling to tell you what diseases they found and how many dead bodies they found within the home upon inspection. And there's certainly nothing beautiful about dead bodies breaking out of their caskets and floating down the streets- in a city which is already drowning in 20 feet of water. And that's just the beginning.
~Dominique
Sunday, February 23, 2014
An Experience of a Lifetime
Today I sit here in Pepperell, MA pondering all of my thoughts and really absorbing what has just hit me. I am usually not an emotional person at all but once I returned home and sat in my bedroom reading all those comments that my peers wrote about me I broke down. During the trip when others cried and were upset I always wondered what made them so upset and how their emotions took over so quickly. I can honestly say I understand now, the aftermath of the trip is what got to me. The second we arrived home I was so exciting to see my family and talk with them about what I consider to be the best week of my life. However when I walked through my front door every time I spoke I choked on my words, not being able to explain anything because every time I opened my mouth the memories would come back into my mind. During the trip I dreaded reflections but understood that they were so necessary for a trip like this. Last night the only think I said to myself was I want to be around a fire in New Orleans with 48 of my best friends who I call a family now.
Before leaving for the trip everyone who was a returning member told me you will change. The thought of change scared me, was it going to be for the better or worse? The moment I knew it was going to be was for the better was on Monday after I did my first day of service at Mr. George's house for United Saints. I got out of a 12 passenger van and saw this beautiful mural across the street it stated "Be the Change... You seek". The change I want to seek is to become a better person to those directly around me like friends and family and to help those whom are in need. New Orleans has changed me, I have learned so much from all of the people that I have spent this last week with and it's going to take time to recover mentally and emotionally from what I have just endured. I can not thank every other member in this fantastic group enough for all they have done for me so for one last time I say Thank you everyone and I love all of you so much
~Michael Spagnolo
Before leaving for the trip everyone who was a returning member told me you will change. The thought of change scared me, was it going to be for the better or worse? The moment I knew it was going to be was for the better was on Monday after I did my first day of service at Mr. George's house for United Saints. I got out of a 12 passenger van and saw this beautiful mural across the street it stated "Be the Change... You seek". The change I want to seek is to become a better person to those directly around me like friends and family and to help those whom are in need. New Orleans has changed me, I have learned so much from all of the people that I have spent this last week with and it's going to take time to recover mentally and emotionally from what I have just endured. I can not thank every other member in this fantastic group enough for all they have done for me so for one last time I say Thank you everyone and I love all of you so much
~Michael Spagnolo
Emotions Running High
As I sit here at my desk after a restful night of sixteen hours of much needed sleep and enduring the longest day of travel I have had in a very long time, my mind has wandered to all of my responsibilities now that I have returned. (Those two essays are not looking very friendly right about now.) I had such a great time reading my green sheet when I woke up this morning. All so genuine. I certainly did not realize what everyone noticed about me during the week. This trip has been such an emotional ride for everyone. However for me as a returner, it was strangely more emotional than last year. I had no idea what my second trip to New Orleans had in store for me. As a sophomore, I did not realize the emotional impact of what we were doing. I've gone back and forth with my emotions already today. From frustration to enthusiasm. I will be taking the New Orleans 2014 experience and applying it to my everyday life. I have set that goal for myself, along with a few others that I will not be able to accomplish until I return next year for my third and final year on the NMRHS NOLA Service Learning trip in 2015. As I have told many of my peers as we returned from this trip, it was an emotional experience that even some adults in our life won't ever be able to fathom.
-Marie
Saturday, February 22, 2014
We Are One
We are all the same.
Although we come from different backgrounds and experience different obstacles in our lives, I believe we are the same. We are all teenagers who are rambling to find a place in this world.
I know that for me, coming from a different culture compared to my peers, I have tried to fit in all my life. This ideology has created another side to me; from the way I act to the things I say. To be honest, like many others I am very self conscious, especially of the way I talk, as english is my second language. All these years of trying to assimilate into this society has plastered mask on me. Those who has known me for a while know how mute I was during my first few years at school; I barely talked much even with my closest friends. Throughout the years, my thoughts and feelings have always been contradictory. I was an attention seeker as a child, but when I came into a completely new surrounding, I wasn't so sure anymore. I like attention( I mean, who doesn't), but my constant fear of being looked down and bullied prevented me from revealing myself. Although, I was a native born citizen, I was not exposed to the American culture until third grade. Unconsciously in my youthful mind, I was jealous of the "cool" kids and wanted to be like them. I wanted the vast friendships they had and their outgoing personalities. It was only with the arrival of genuine friends like DJ, did I realize that being "cool" was not important and having one true friend outweighed all the others who were just "friends". From then on, alongside the growing friendships and my improvement in English, my mask that I put on began to disintegrate.
Each year a piece of my mask falls off and I reveal a sliver of my inner self. This journey of scavenging for the true me is extensive but worthwhile, and it is only through the encouragements and kindness from people like you guys that I obtain the confidence to show others another facet of me. Through the reflections people gave during this trip, I came to understand that as teenagers and young adults of great will and unlimited passion, all we need is the right people, joyful memories, and a little guidance.
There are still many pieces of me that have yet to be displayed. Until I gain full confidence and courage, I will try my best to sustain my transformation. I believe through patience, hardships, and love I will eventually be able to fully remove my mask and I know that others like me can do it as well.
Remember, we are the same. No one should feel left out because we all reach for the same goal. The goal to find the true place where we belong.
-Linda Zheng
Everlasting Change
The last day of the trip, but my first time blogging ever. I find myself dumbfounded and ecstatic this trip happened. To be given an opportunity to help right where hurricane Katreina hit, there are no words to describe it. I found myself with the group in the ninth ward of New Orleans one of the first days. If you don't know exactly what the ninth ward is, that is where most of the major floods happened. They were hit incredibly hard. What I realized at the moment we walked around the neighborhood, was that I was standing exactly where I saw around eight years ago people stranded on their roofs waiting for help. I remember that time, watching my television with my mom by my side, staring at the catastrophic event that was taking place. These New Orleans returners have been stricken with devastation, no one can change that. But they definitely can get help dealing with what happened. When I was sitting in the car in the ninth, one word popped into my thoughts, plagued. These poor poor human beings had lived through so much. And that's one reason I believe it's great to come down to New Orleans. Moral support; hope and to show we care. It's such a moving thing, what Mr. Kane has created. And I can easily say he is my hero. Out of all the politicians, celebrities, friends and family members, Mr. Kane is one of my biggest heroes in this world. No amount of thanks can justify how grateful I am for this experience.
~ Kaitlyn Istnick
~ Kaitlyn Istnick
Life of the past
Before the trip Kane always talked about the difference between 'Nola' time and normal time, however I never could really understand until I experienced it myself. Boy, was that realization a doozy. This trip - or should I say journey, has felt like a day. Yet each day felt like weeks. Looking back over my entire experience, I can proudly say that I have indeed changed, this trip placed all of the trivial quarrels and trials in my life into immense perspective. The worldseems much more grey than ever before, and although that may be confusing and emotional at times, one should always prefer grey over checker board.
What I found to be particularly amazing, was how quickly United Saints became my home. Early on my second morning down in New Orleans I came to except my fate. This was my new home, these were me new family members, and that mess hall was our dining room. So once I returned to my real home here, something was wrong. It was as if I had abandoned my new life, for a life of the past. For if one thing is for sure, I am no longer the same. I have seen some pretty interesting things this past week, yet the sight that I deemed to be the strangest - was my own bedroom. Something about my room felt off, yet for a few minutes I could not realize what it was. Until it hit me and the water works began to shed once more... I was alone in my room, with only my self and my dog. Not ten others.
Of course, it was impeccably amazing to see my family again, yet amongst all the reunion hugs, I could still feel the hugs of our departure lingering through me. I have made so many friends, as well as made prior ones indestructible. This was truly the best experience of my small seventeen years. Although I know and understand that others will not be able to fully grasp the emotions and the memories I hold, I still feel comforted knowing that my fellow travelers will well understand and relate. I miss everyone so much already! I am so much looking forward to our continuation of the sandwich making at seven o clock in the beloved Kane's room. Thank you for such an amazing, and life changing experience. As J.A. Put it to my friend and I "This program will straight up ruin your life, but you will be okay with that," and he was right, I will never see things the same again, but the fact is - I don't want to.
- Hannah Britten
What I found to be particularly amazing, was how quickly United Saints became my home. Early on my second morning down in New Orleans I came to except my fate. This was my new home, these were me new family members, and that mess hall was our dining room. So once I returned to my real home here, something was wrong. It was as if I had abandoned my new life, for a life of the past. For if one thing is for sure, I am no longer the same. I have seen some pretty interesting things this past week, yet the sight that I deemed to be the strangest - was my own bedroom. Something about my room felt off, yet for a few minutes I could not realize what it was. Until it hit me and the water works began to shed once more... I was alone in my room, with only my self and my dog. Not ten others.
Of course, it was impeccably amazing to see my family again, yet amongst all the reunion hugs, I could still feel the hugs of our departure lingering through me. I have made so many friends, as well as made prior ones indestructible. This was truly the best experience of my small seventeen years. Although I know and understand that others will not be able to fully grasp the emotions and the memories I hold, I still feel comforted knowing that my fellow travelers will well understand and relate. I miss everyone so much already! I am so much looking forward to our continuation of the sandwich making at seven o clock in the beloved Kane's room. Thank you for such an amazing, and life changing experience. As J.A. Put it to my friend and I "This program will straight up ruin your life, but you will be okay with that," and he was right, I will never see things the same again, but the fact is - I don't want to.
- Hannah Britten
The Life Change
Although this trip was only a week long it was truly a life changing experience for me. Prior to this trip I was not who I wanted to be, nor was I happy with who I was. I did not believe that I was a key member in the group and I felt like I should not have been chosen. However through this trip I proved my worth to the group always giving 110% of my effort while on the work sites and usually doing the heavy lifting and the dirty work that not many other people wanted to do. I also think that I inspired others to also give it their all at the worksites, also being able to help out others and show them how to do certain things with power tools or just the work in general. Through the whole NOLA experience I have truly become who I have strived and wanted to be. I know that this was only my first year and also my last, but this truly was a life changing experience.
Before getting chosen for the group I was just one of those random faces in the hallway. When walking from class to class I would often just put my head down trying not to make eye contact with anyone as I was ashamed of who I was. I tried to impress others by the way I dressed and the way I acted and most importantly the car that I bought. I have never really been liked by a lot of people so I thought having a nice car would make people like me, but kept enough it actually did the opposite. The people I tried to impress to gain their friendship actually disowned me and disregarded me. I worked my hardest for almost 3 years to save up enough money to buy it myself. I though that this was my greatest accomplishment, however looking back on the trip today on the flight to Houston, I realized that this is not the case.
My greatest accomplishment is that of finding who I really am and now accepting and being happy with who I am and have become. Although I am still not confident and only talked at reflections once because I was very anxious and nervous, I decided to blog about my feelings instead. Even though I did not publicly make known my feelings and emotions till 2 nights ago with a small group of people I can now call really good friends, I still got so much out of this whole experience, more than money can buy and the money that the trip required.
Down here in New Orleans I felt alive, and instead of living in the future and ignoring what is right in front of me, I started to live in the moment and have so much fun. This is the happiest and most satisfying time in my life right now, bring able to be who I want to be and also share all of the great memories with 42 other students and the 6 chaperones that came along the trip as well. I could not imagine going on this trip with anyone but the group that came down here, I just want to thank every single one of you because you have all shaped me and helped me gain the confidence to be who I want to be and no longer do I have to put on a "hard outer shell". This trip has given me the confidence to live in the moment and not in the future, because frankly before this experience I was not enjoying the life that I was living.
I used to make the days go by before high school by playing video games most of the day because I did not have a lot of friends. This was my way of interacting with people who actually "liked" me even though they had never met me before nor did they know who I was, where I was from or even what I looked like. Then once high school hit I started to work more, going to school and then to work and getting home around 10 most week nights. I would then eat dinner and do some homework and then go to bed. I was not a very social kid so this is how my life was spent. On this trip I gained the confidence to be able to talk to anyone about anything, even my feelings which I do not usually share or let be known to others.
Lastly I just want to say thank you to everyone who was there when I needed them 2 nights ago after reflection. I can honestly say that you all mean so much to me now after all that was said. I just hope that after today, once this trip is completely over, that we can stay in touch and continue the friendship(s) that were only found midway through this 8 day trip. I just wish we got to be better friends before the trip in the 10 month span prior.
"Be the change you seek in the world" is now a saying that is embedded in my mind and will be for the rest of my life. I can not wait until the day where I am a licensed doctor and will be able to help others in their time(s) of need everyday for the rest of my life. I am really grateful and humbled to be able to be a part of an organization that is so great and can make the seemly impossible possible through hard work and dedication.
~Mike Niemi
Before getting chosen for the group I was just one of those random faces in the hallway. When walking from class to class I would often just put my head down trying not to make eye contact with anyone as I was ashamed of who I was. I tried to impress others by the way I dressed and the way I acted and most importantly the car that I bought. I have never really been liked by a lot of people so I thought having a nice car would make people like me, but kept enough it actually did the opposite. The people I tried to impress to gain their friendship actually disowned me and disregarded me. I worked my hardest for almost 3 years to save up enough money to buy it myself. I though that this was my greatest accomplishment, however looking back on the trip today on the flight to Houston, I realized that this is not the case.
My greatest accomplishment is that of finding who I really am and now accepting and being happy with who I am and have become. Although I am still not confident and only talked at reflections once because I was very anxious and nervous, I decided to blog about my feelings instead. Even though I did not publicly make known my feelings and emotions till 2 nights ago with a small group of people I can now call really good friends, I still got so much out of this whole experience, more than money can buy and the money that the trip required.
Down here in New Orleans I felt alive, and instead of living in the future and ignoring what is right in front of me, I started to live in the moment and have so much fun. This is the happiest and most satisfying time in my life right now, bring able to be who I want to be and also share all of the great memories with 42 other students and the 6 chaperones that came along the trip as well. I could not imagine going on this trip with anyone but the group that came down here, I just want to thank every single one of you because you have all shaped me and helped me gain the confidence to be who I want to be and no longer do I have to put on a "hard outer shell". This trip has given me the confidence to live in the moment and not in the future, because frankly before this experience I was not enjoying the life that I was living.
I used to make the days go by before high school by playing video games most of the day because I did not have a lot of friends. This was my way of interacting with people who actually "liked" me even though they had never met me before nor did they know who I was, where I was from or even what I looked like. Then once high school hit I started to work more, going to school and then to work and getting home around 10 most week nights. I would then eat dinner and do some homework and then go to bed. I was not a very social kid so this is how my life was spent. On this trip I gained the confidence to be able to talk to anyone about anything, even my feelings which I do not usually share or let be known to others.
Lastly I just want to say thank you to everyone who was there when I needed them 2 nights ago after reflection. I can honestly say that you all mean so much to me now after all that was said. I just hope that after today, once this trip is completely over, that we can stay in touch and continue the friendship(s) that were only found midway through this 8 day trip. I just wish we got to be better friends before the trip in the 10 month span prior.
"Be the change you seek in the world" is now a saying that is embedded in my mind and will be for the rest of my life. I can not wait until the day where I am a licensed doctor and will be able to help others in their time(s) of need everyday for the rest of my life. I am really grateful and humbled to be able to be a part of an organization that is so great and can make the seemly impossible possible through hard work and dedication.
~Mike Niemi
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